100
Reasons Why Danzig Is Buffer Than You
| 101. Danzig can
smash a Ford Focus over your face. 100. Danzig can punch you out and take your child’s candy in a restroom. 99. An orchid means nothing once Danzig destroys your girl sexually. 98. Danzig thinks your sister is a killer fuck. 97. Danzig will run you throw a salt covered window. 96. Danzig can jump a couch and a criminal in a single leap. 95. A triangle of women swallowed Danzigs biz. 94. Danzig can mangle a fire blanket with one hand. 93. There is no evading Danzig when he folds your boy up. 92. Danzig can beat up everyone at a festival of wild monkeys. 91. Danzig can lift a fire-truck. 90. Danzig has your mom wash his backside. 89. Your sister has been a victim of Danzigs forearms. 87. Danzig wants to punch your mom cause she’s a wookie. 86. George Lucas isn’t Danzig. 85. Danzig is buff winter, summer, spring and fall. 84. There isn’t a book Danzig can’t throw at you. 83. There isn’t a fridge Danzig can’t put food in. 82. There isn’t a door Danzig can’t shut. 81. There isn’t a door Danzig can’t open. 80. Danzig doesn’t like doors. 79. Danzig shaves ewoks. 78. Jet Li isn’t the one, Danzig is. 77. Danzig can breath in outer-space. 76. Danzig doesn’t like Astro-Turf. 75. Danzig is a glutton for breaking glass. 74. Danzig doesn’t like hot-dogs. 73. Conan needs to use a sword, Danzig flexes his muscles. 72. Danzig collects comic books, yet he’s buffer than you. 71. There isn’t a movie that Danzig can’t watch. 70. There isn’t a woman Danzig can’t satisfy. 69. There isn’t a midget Danzig can’t throw 50 feet. 68. There isn’t a car Danzig can’t bench press. 67. Danzig can see at night. 66. Danzig is faster than lightning. 65. Danzig has more money than every homeless person put together. 64. Danzig will knock that stupid hat you wear backwards off of your stupid “hard-core” head. 63. Danzig will sleep with your mom on your bed. 62. After he’s finished he’ll nut on your pillow. 61. When your dad walks in, Danzig will just flex his muscles and punch a hole in your wall. 60. Danzig will tell your father that he should have come earlier when he was making your sister scream like a deaf girl. 59. Danzig eats chocolate as though it’s candy. 58. There isn’t a piece of glass Danzig can’t break. 57. Danzig doesn’t eat at the dinner table. 56. Danzig’s enchanting musk cannot be clouded by any perfume. 55. Darth Vader isn’t Danzig. 54. Danzig throws grapefruit at the elderly. 53. No matter how much Danzig drinks, he’ll never get drunk. 52. You’ll pay the price for not being as buff as Danzig. 51. At weddings, Danzig throws barbells instead of rice. 50. John Stamos isn’t Danzig. 49. Richard Stamos isn’t Danzig. 48. William….. Shattner…. Was…. punched by Danzig for …..talking …..so… stupid. 47. Danzig doesn’t have to use ketchup with fried potatoes. 46. Danzig doesn’t think you are cool. 45. Danzig has a tattoo of a wolf. 44. Danzig doesn’t give money to the homeless. 43. There isn’t a bar that Danzig can’t bend. 42. Danzig only has women cook his food. 41. Danzig is buff with shirts on. 40. Danzig is buff with out a shirt. 39. Danzig has a skull for a logo. 38. Danzig can punch people at random and no one can do a thing about it. 37. Danzig is proof that a higher power wants us all to be buff. 36. You can’t sing like Danzig. 35. Danzig can sing like Danzig. 34. No matter how much you tell your daughter to stay away from Danzig, she’ll always come back for more of his lovin’. 33. Danzig films every woman he sleeps with, that means your mom is already on tape. 32. Have you slept with your sister? Danzig sure has,… several times. 31. Danzig can sell pop-cycles to an Eskimo. 30. Danzig has been all over the USA. 29. Danzig has already beaten up your uncle. 28. Danzig didn’t sue napster. 27. Danzig has long hair. 26. Danzig can run through water and not get wet. 25. Danzig can use a remote to turn on a TV. 24. Danzig wants to punch you for using a cell phone. 23. Paper is always thinner when Danzig writes on it. 22. Danzig doesn’t slip on wet floors. 21. Glass breaks when Danzig does push-ups. 20. Mothers weap when Danzig punches the air. 19. Birds fall from the sky when Danzig puts on boots. 18. Danzig ties every one of his shoe laces. 17. Danzig wears mesh shirts. 16. Danzig punches men who wear purses. 15. Danzig only listens to round CDs. 14. Danzig bathes in Bar-B-Q sauce. 13. Every picture is better when Danzig is in it. 12. Your mom isn’t Danzig. 11. Your dad isn’t Danzig. 10. Danzig has made every womans face look like a toaster struddle. 9. Danzig made your mom a woman. 8. Danzig made your sister a woman. 7. Danzig made your father scream like a woman. 6. Danzig will make you scream like a deaf woman. 5. Danzig should be able to impregnate every woman. 4. Danzig can eat spicy foods. 3. A female cannot be called a woman until Danzig has made her one. 2. Danzig NEVER pulls out or uses condoms. 1. You are not Danzig. |